I am lucky because I listened to that voice inside my head. The voice that said something is not right here. 🖤
You see, I had this little tiny freckle of a thing that just popped up out of nowhere. I noticed it and shrugged it off at first. It was in a spot where I would have to search for it to even see it, a spot where the sun has never shined. So out of sight, out of mind....weeks went by and turned into months. Now and then I would catch a glimpse of it on my way in and out of the shower and still just shrug. But here's the thing, on one of those glimpses, I noticed it was growing and changing. 😳
I still watched it in disbelief, thinking nothing could be wrong, my ignorance was not bliss. it was still growing and changing, it grew a whole new wing on it and that's when I finally left the river of denial and went to my primary care doctor. (P.S. It is so important to have a primary care doctor who can help you coordinate the care you need with the experts in each field, they are your health care manager.) My primary care doctor sent me to dermatology.
I have to say ALL of this was totally and completely embarrassing. You wanna know why, I'll tell ya why. As mentioned previously, this spot was found in an area that I could not see, it was in a very delicate spot. Still, trying to figure out where? It was in my inner right groin in the crease where the leg meets the body, literally next to my vagina. 😳 I mean that isn't even the funniest part about this, the shape of the offender had turned into a heart. My freckle turned into a cancer heart. 🖤 It was very cute but all agreed it had to be looked at further.
Within minutes of the first dermatology appointment, the Dr. did a full body review and examined the spot. Then said, I'll be right back with the tools I need for a biopsy, Ugh, wait, what? 😳 Your gonna do what to my where? Oh dear.....so there I was lying on the exam table, absolutely freaking out on the inside...so I started counting the tiles in the ceiling. There were 32 of them in the exam room I was in. 32 ceiling tiles that I fixated on while the dr and team did their work. It was hard to walk after leaving there and uncomfortable to do anything for the next few months. It was just in such a delicate spot that any movement moved it. When I finally hobbled down to the car, I started it and Nirvana's Heart Shaped Box started playing. I have never laughed and cried at the same time before...but Universe, you got me there. 😂😭✨
I already knew in my heart and by the dermatologist's reaction that this was skin cancer. The biopsy went out and came back positive. Since it was such a delicate spot, and it just healed from the biopsy, the dermatologist suggested a chemotherapy cream. I called it the Cream-o. The cream-o worked, it was doing its job, and therefore I was hobbling around with an open wound yet again. I generally felt terrible like I had the flu with no flu. Ah, side effects. (Remember who I am? A sensitive, which means I am sensitive to everything, especially those drugs they give you.) So I had to be taken off the cream-o. The spot had to heal, again. I trudged back to the dermatologist's office where she finally burnt the heart off. I am happy to report that has healed and the cancer is all gone from that spot! I do go to the dermatologist for follow-ups on a very regular basis. And just got another spot burnt off my face last week. (Yes! Two of the worst places to have a torch gun go to 😵💫 but my doctor rocked it!)
I am so thankful that I listened to that little voice inside my head and heart. I knew there was something wrong with my body. I put on my big girl pants and went to the doctor. It is so important to listen to your body and seek out the right medical professionals, no matter how uncomfortable or embarrassing it may be. If you are not happy with the results, get another opinion. Medicine is your doctor and medical team's best-educated guess. Advocate for yourself and make sure to follow up. You are the one that lives in your body, only you can advocate for it. I can't imagine where I would be today if I did not listen to that little, nagging voice. Off the soap box now, but seriously, take care of you, ok?
Please be kind.
Hope and light live within us all.
xoxo
Joyce
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“I don’t understand it any more than you do, but one thing I’ve learned is that you don’t have to understand things for them to be.” ― Madeleine L’Engle, A Wrinkle in Time
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